People I’d Like To Meet

 

In no particular order, these are the people I’d like to meet (dead or alive, fiction or real). This isn’t by any means a complete list.

1. Jesus.

But only during a near death experience, because I’m not done here on earth. Thanks though. I would have a ton of questions and Jesus would be like, “Enough already!”

2. Authors Jen Lancaster (non-fiction) and Stacey Ballis (fiction).

       

These two are crazy funny. I would love to have lunch with both of them, while taking notes. I could learn a lot. I’d like to think that they could learn a lot from me, but that’s just wishful thinking. Stacey follows me on Twitter and followed my other blog before I switched to my new domain. She and I tried to get Jen to follow me too, but our efforts failed. Maybe I’ll start a campaign to bring them into my southern-drenched-redneck world. I won’t resort to kidnapping. Yet.

Note to Jen and Stacey: WRITE FASTER! I read through your books too fast. Yeah, they were that good, y’all!

3. Hitler.

Yeah, you heard me. But, I’d only like to meet him so I could ask him what he was thinking and then put fire crackers between his toes (and one up his ass), lighting them one-by-one. For the grand finale, I’d put him in a wooden box with thousands of angry wasps and bury him alive. I’d use a shovel, of course. I hate getting dirt under my finger nails. Because, you know, ew. Maybe Jen Lancaster would let me borrow her good whackin’ shovel. I’d let her borrow my good Sopranos-knee-whackin’-bat, so it’s all fair.

4. Jodi Picoult.

She’s one of my all-time favorite fiction authors (next to Stacey Ballis and Nicholas Sparks). Jodi’s writing always makes me think and then I wonder, “I wish I could write like that!” I’ve read all of her books except her new release, The Storyteller. My birthday is June 1st. Feel free to send me a copy.

Note to Jodi: WRITE FASTER too! :-)

5. Nicholas Sparks.

Yes, he’s also one of my favorite authors. I’d like to let him know that I think he’s one of the few heterosexual men who thinks like he does. I’m mad at him at the moment though. Usually his books are released once a year in Sept/Oct, but last year was skipped. Did he ask me before he could take some time off? No! I know he’s been busy developing a new TV series, but that’s no excuse. Whatever. I think I know too much about him. I’m not a stalker, I swear.

6. Tony Soprano.

Because I could use the services he provides and I have a list of people that Karma has missed. We would be best friends.

7. Wyatt Earp.

So his badassery will rub off on me. We already have that, “won’t take any shit” attitude.

8. Jonathan Swift, author of Gulliver’s Travels (and other writings).

Because? What. The. F*ck? I’d like to ask him what drugs he was taking when he wrote that shit. I’d also like to kick the arse of my professor who made me read it.

9. Ellen Degeneres.

Because she’s silly and makes me laugh. She would probably be my second best friend. She would feel the same about me.

10. William Shakespeare.

He was a genius, even though he stole some ideas from others. I would teach him about plagiarism and he would teach me the fine art of “tragedy and comedy.”

11. Albert Einstein.

I’m sure I would be a fascinating student of his. Probably his favorite, without a doubt. Because I’d be able to demonstrate that mass x’s acceleration equals a swift kick in the ass for those Walmart thugs. We’d both be right.

12. Leonardo da Vinci.

Dude was not only a great artist, but an inventor as well. Although, I’m sure our friendship would be short-lived after he said to me, “I’ve developed this new flying machine. Hop on a give it a try. If you make it back alive, you can tell me all about it. If not, it was nice knowing you.”

13. Theresa Park, Literary Agent.

Because, well, she’ll just love my writing and insist on being my agent. I’d happily hand over 15% of the millions I’ve sold. Right? She’s also Nicholas Sparks’ agent, but I swear I’m not stalking him.

14. Sigmund Freud.

So that I can tell him that not everything is sexually symbolic (or phallic) and that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar (after I shove it up his ass).

15. Mariah Carey. 

So I could slap the shit out of her.

Who would your like to meet and why? Don’t forget to answer the “why” part of the question. I’m curious.

GK Adams

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  • http://twitter.com/sadderbutwiser SarahA

    Ellen Degeneres, because not only she is fantastically funny, she does so many wonderful things for people and animals. She and I could go eat a vegan lunch together. I’ve had a few people compare my writing style to her. I don’t believe them-I’m nowhere near that awesome.

    • GKAdams

      I agree…Ellen is an all-around fantastic human being!

  • AnotherCleanSlate

    I think Ellen DeGeneres would top my list. She is just an all around amazing person. I would also love to meet Jen Lancaster- her books crack me up!

    • GKAdams

      Agreed!

  • http://apocalypsestarts.blogspot.com/ Sarah Stasik

    I think my answers on this one would change weekly…but I’d love to meet Neil Gaiman, because how cool would it be to say that you did? And Doctor Who, because who doesn’t want to be a companion?

    • GKAdams

      I’ve never read anything by Neil Gaimon. Might have to check out his work. As for Doctor Who…I’ve never made it through one whole episode. I tried. Really, I tried. I just don’t get the fascination.

  • Lissa

    Candice DeLong. She’s a former FBI profiler. I read her biography, Special Agent: My Life on the Front Lines as a Woman in the FBI. My passion is figuring out peoples’ psyche, especially the really twisted ones. You can catch her on the ID Channel once in awhile interviewing deadly women.

    Charlton Heston. When I was little I watched the very first Planet of the Apes movie with him starring in it. That movie had such an impact on me, especially at the end when it showed the broken Statue of Liberty on the beach and he screamed, “You maniacs!” And of course I love how much passion he had about our freedom… “From my cold dead hands!”

    Matthew Gray Gubler. AKA Dr. Spencer Reid on Criminal Minds. Love his character on this show. I honestly wish I was as smart as his character plays on the show. Plus I have a crush on this “geeky” guy too. He seems like he’d be a very interesting person to get to know and be friends with.

    President Obama. I’d like to ask him several questions just to see if he could manipulate me as well as he does to the American citizens. And then just like you said about Hitler, Gina… I’d like to put firecrackers between his toes and one huge one up his ass and light them, then put him in a box with angry wasps, and bury him alive.

    • GKAdams

      Wow! Nice response and list of peeps. You should add these to your blog.

  • http://twitter.com/filbio Phil Holtberg

    There are so many ways to answer this one. Hitler so I could beat him to death with my bare hands, Jesus so he would forgive me, and Captain James T Kirk so we could fly around the galaxy and pick up hot green chicks!

    • GKAdams

      Nice list.

  • Cyndi

    Hmm…good choices. I’d want to meet Buddha, Julius Ceasar, maybe Adam and Eve (lol), Marie Antoinette (I’m descended from her), William and Kate, Steve Jobs and a few others…but I can’t think of any more at the moment. Fun post. :)

    • GKAdams

      I was going to add Buddha. Also, Julius Caesar, but that prick Marc Antony was always hanging around and I wouldn’t want to get into the middle of that tiff.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Katrina-Davies-Hutchesson/842608503 Katrina Davies Hutchesson

    Oh what an interesting idea….a bit like who would you like to have dinner with…which could be interesting with this collection…hmm think I might do the same, have a think about who I would like to meet and blog about it to….linking to this post of course

    • GKAdams

      I had more that I could list, but I figured that I’d need something else to write about later. Thanks for stopping by!

  • http://www.shirleymaya.com/ Shirley Maya Tan

    I’d like to meet you in person, actually :) And Richard Branson because he owns some of the best “toys” :)

    • GKAdams

      Oooooo…yeah, Richard Branson. He’d be fun to spend the say with.

  • William Kendall

    Mariah just made a note to avoid you at all costs.
    Obviously I’m appreciative of Wyatt Earp. One guy you didn’t mess with.
    As to Hitler, I’d be inclined to douse him in barbecue sauce and dump fire ants all over him.