You Know You’re A Redneck

 

Here are 20 things to look for…if you answer with a quick nod and a, “Sho’ ’nuff” to any one of these, you know you’re a redneck!

  1. You sponsor cockfights.
  2. Without roosters.
  3. Your dog has more teeth than you do.
  4. More teeth than your wife/booty call too.
  5. Hell, more teeth that both of you put together.
  6. In order to find a date, you show up to your family reunion.
  7. And actually get lucky.
  8. Three times.
  9. In the back of the truck.
  10. You can entertain yourself with a fly swatter.
  11. Actually killing flies. (get your mind out of the gutter)
  12. Goodwill doesn’t want your donations.
  13. Your local taxidermist knows you on a first name basis and you do so much business with HER that you qualify for a discount.
  14. You wash your hair with Flea and Tick shampoo.
  15. You can’t afford curtains for your house, but the ones in your truck were custom made.
  16. All of your salad bowls were made by Country Crock.
  17. You don’t own a back scratcher, but you have a toilet brush that’ll get the job done.
  18. You missed your 8th grade graduation, because it was your weddin’ day.
  19. You use a toothpick to clean out your fingernails.
  20. When they’re clean, you pop the toothpick back into your mouth.

GK Adams

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  • http://twitter.com/sadderbutwiser SarahA

    Ewwwwww… though the toilet brush one made me LOL!

  • Phil Holtberg

    Rednecks are a stange race unto themselves!

  • http://twitter.com/SlateClean AnotherCleanSlate

    Ew to the toilet brush!! Haha

  • http://www.shirleymaya.com/ Shirley Maya Tan

    Oh my….