Depression Sucks!

Depression sucks! Oh, yes it does!

Yesterday was the first day since my blog’s inception, that I have not published a post. I know that I’ve said in the past that I seemed to have lost my funny, but all joking aside, it’s true and I’m about to tell you why. Sort of.

I think I should start out by clarifying that things have NOT been good for a long time, and it hit its’ peak on Monday. It was like a volcano. Even scientists could not have predicted this shit. Maybe a psychologist could have seen this coming, but not a Volcanologist.

Normally, I would never talk about this sort of thing. I tend to put on a facade and pretend to laugh while I sit on the toilet and try to push rainbows out of my ass. However, I feel like it’s time I say something.

Usually I can attribute my depression to that special time of the month and I’m pretty confident that Mother Nature will commence to punching me in the ovaries in the next few days. Sometimes, I hate that bitch. She can be vicious. I know that Aunt Flo will also barge in, kick off her shoes, and announce that she’ll be sticking around for the next few days. Those two seem to run around together like Thelma and Louise. But after they pack up their belongings, wave goodbye and say that they’ll see me next month, I usually go back to being myself in no time; however, not in this case. All it means is that dealing with the daily bullshit will not cease; at least, not yet.

character depression sucks

Depression is usually the result of emotional scars, which is the source of mine. It’s a shame that I have waited so long to stand up for myself and not allow the bullshit to take place anymore.

Never mind the factors that serve to compound my issue with depression, but that “D” word is such an ugly word, isn’t it? Well, society tells us that it is. I’ve learned through my own experience that it doesn’t have to be an ugly word, something that is debilitating. Does depression make me crazy? Nope. It just makes me normal, because most of the population deals with it too. The only thing that sets us apart is the mitigating factors.

I’m not looking for advice. I’m not looking for answers. Well, maybe I am. Sometimes we relate things so we can vent and just be heard. But sometimes we just need people to say that they understand, to reach out to give you help because you’re too weak to help yourself, to say that everything is going to be okay. Depression sucks. Depression sucks the life out of you.

I know I have to try to be strong enough to face my depression and any obstacles that are set before me. If I can do that, then maybe I’ll have enough strength to keep it at bay and survive. Maybe. But I know I cannot do it on my own. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.

Part of the issues is also lack of employment and I know that all I can do is continue looking for a job, continue growing my blog in hopes that I’ll gain enough advertisers/sponsors, and continue to look for freelance writing work — anything to bring in an income. When that day comes, I can make my way out of this deep, dark hole.

So, yes, I’m asking for help. I need a job. Sounds funny after a chatting about depression, huh? But you know what? This depression is because of my situation. I haven’t always been like this.

If you know of anyone who is hiring (it doesn’t matter where at this point), I’d be a valuable, loyal, honest, and hard-working employee. I have extensive knowledge in computer technical (desktop) support and networking, and although I’ve been away from it for a while, the knowledge and experience hasn’t escaped me. I learn quickly, too and can pick up new technology like a sponge. But because of the length of time I took off from this career and chose to go to school, nobody – and I mean, NOBODY! – will call me back.

As most of you know, I also earned my MA in English Literature and Writing, which gives me experience in teaching, writing, editing, and proofreading. Although it was not technically my job description, I have done technical writing in the past.

I’ve applied everywhere, even places like Walmart, Target, McDonald’s, etc. Again, nobody will call me back, especially here in Pea Pickin’ Town. I’m either over-qualified or don’t have enough experience, depending on the type of industry. I’ve even down-played my education and experience. It hasn’t helped.

I’ve applied for jobs in different cities here in Texas and out-of-state, but employers like to hire locally. I can’t be local unless I can move there. I can’t move there unless I have money. It’s a catch-22.

I’m up for anything at this point, but it seems helpful when you know someone. It’s not what you know, but whom you know. I hate that things are that way, but it’s a fact of life, especially in this economy.

I’m willing to transfer anywhere!

If any of you would like a copy of my resume, please email me at gkadams(at)funnylifestories(dot)com

I’m more than willing to accept any and all help.

Thanks for listening!

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GK Adams

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  • Cyndi

    I can only sympathize and hope that you’re on the up and up soon. I just found out about a website called skillshare.com and you can propose to teach classes and if they like your idea, you can have a go at it. I might think of a class or two to teach. What about part time gigs? The community college? But I’m sure you’ve looked. : So sorry you’re going through this.

    • GKAdams

      Thank you, Cyndi. I will check out skillshare.

  • Kathy Ree

    My husband went through the type of unemployment depression you’re going through. He went on meds temporarily, and when he did finally get a job, the depression and the meds went away immediately. If you’re at all interested in transferring to Oregon, where the state flower should be moss and the sun is a rare commodity, Intel is hiring in droves. They’re in the midst of building a huge facility in Hillsboro, and will be looking for people soon. My husband can refer you. I would, however, suggest adding volunteer jobs to your resume so that it looks like you have been keeping up with your skillset. Polish that resume to a shine, kiddo, and let me know if you are interested.

    • GKAdams

      Heck yeah, I’m interested! I polish up my resume some more and send it over to you! Thanks so much!

  • http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

    I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I’ve been there – am there now in a way. Depression for me is connected to my struggle with chronic pain and feeling like I’m 80 when I get out of bed in the morning. But the emotion is very much the same and I’ve completely lost my sense of humor over the last couple of weeks. I haven’t been posting much either because really, all I want to do is bitch about it.

    I hope that you find work soon. I wish I could help.

    Have you tried doing sponsored posts here? What about selling ad space to other bloggers? I know it won’t replace a job, but it’s something. Affiliate ads maybe? I do a combination of these things and it brings in a little extra.

    • GKAdams

      Sorry to hear about your chronic pain. It seems that depression can just complicate matters even more. I know it’s not easy to deal with. I will keep you in my prayers.

      I have done a couple of sponsored posts, but haven’t gotten any leads recently. I definitely have ad space available, but it seems everyone is in some sort of crunch, which is understandable. If I could afford to advertise on other people’s blogs, I would. So, I know how they feel when they can’t afford it. Affiliate ads didn’t work for me at all.

  • Tammy

    I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Remember that depression lies: You are not alone. My boyfriend is going through long-term unemployment as well, scraping by with part-time casual positions while he tries to repackage himself.

    I strongly agree with Kathy Ree and her mentioning of volunteer activities. Not only do these help you fill the gap, they can add skills, and VERY important (wearing my HR hat), they give you a recent reference that will actually talk about you.

    Thank you for having the courage to share your situation and ask for help. I hope you are back in meaningful employment soon.

    • GKAdams

      I always keep that in my mind: depression lies! Sometimes it’s easier said than done.

  • http://www.facebook.com/william.kendall.9 William Kendall

    I can only suggest volunteering, maybe temp work… it’s possible that something more permanent can lead out from there.
    I know how damaging depression can be. I’ve been going through it myself, and it can leave you feeling hopeless. It comes from emotional scars for me, and toxic relationships with my sisters. I had to hit rock bottom, but therapy and counselling have helped.

    • GKAdams

      I’ve signed up with temp agencies too. I’ll just keep chugging along.

  • Stacy Harris

    Depression sucks and unless you are going through it, you just never know how difficult it is. I know I have been lectured because they thought I was stupid for being depressed. I mean… really… how can it be that bad. But until you have been through it you can’t judge. Here’s hoping something comes up. I know when we first moved out to California it took my husband almost 6 months to find employment. It wasn’t easy but hopefully things look up!

    • http://www.funnylifestories.com GK Adams

      Thanks Stacy! Eventually, something’s gotta give.

    • GKAdams

      Thanks so much, Stacy!

  • Emelie Samuelson

    Hey love.
    I’m sorry I didn’t comment yesterday, but it was an insane day for me and I wanted some time to really devote to reading, listening, and thinking about you.
    You are an amazing woman. I just need you to know that. And I’m here for you. You should know that, too.
    As for the job thing, I’ll keep my eyes and ears open!!
    Sending good vibes your way and praying for you! :)

  • Cheryl Nicholl

    I knew something was up- the tone, the lack of posting yesterday. Jesus! I’ve noticed this is ‘going around’ like a virus. Jesus! I hate the ‘praying for you’ crap. We need to find you a job!!!! Where are you in Texas?

    • GKAdams

      Thanks, Cheryl. Right now, I’m in East Texas. The closest metro to me is Dallas. I’ve looked in Dallas, Houston, Austin, and San Antonio. It’s hard though, because employers are looking for people who are local. I can’t be local until I get some money to move. It’s a vicious cycle. Something will turn up. I hope.

  • Phil Holtberg

    Sorry to hear you are going through this. Try to stay upbeat and positive. Depression can eat you up inside. Keep trying every outlet for employment and don’t give up.

  • Deb Claxton

    Sorry to hear that you’re going through Depression. I’ve been there too. I’ll ask my brother in Dallas if he knows about any jobs. My brother’s company is always laying people off and he’s lucky to have a job. My sister-in-law who has no skills what so ever worked at Staples. Hang in there because things can always get better. I care about you. You’re my Blog Buddy!.