Redneck Haiku’s

Redneck Haiku’s…especially for all y’all. Yeah, I was bored. So what? By the way, Haiku’s are not easy. It’s hard to creative with 17 syllables. Yes, I did the math: 5+7+5=17. I’m a math genius, I tell ya. Hell, all rednecks are geniuseseses in math. I’m not a redneck though…I just make fun of them, because I can.

So enjoy!

___________________

I can get laid at
a family reunion
don’t forget condoms
___________________

To find perfect date
go to ancestry.com
and not match.com

___________________

So good at fishin’
I do it with my bare hands
like masturbating

___________________

I ran out of beer
Now, get yer hillbilly ass
up to the Walmart

___________________

Girlie of the week
ain’t got nuthin’ on my old
two-barreled shotgun

___________________

There, that’s all you get
Haiku’s give me a headache
They hurt my brain bad

___________________

Y’all counted all those to make sure I did it right, didn’t ya?

Can you come up with your own redneck haiku?

Hell, spit out any haiku you want and place ‘em in the comments.

Best one will get highlighted on my page. How’s that fer ya?

Note: I suspect that Terrye (The Misplaced Alaskan) will come up with a doozy. Y’all watch and see.


Don’t miss out on your daily dose of humor! Subscribe Now! CLICK HERE!

GK Adams

Print Friendly
  • Cyndi

    Hilarious! Where’s Terrye!? She’ll get a kick outta these. :D Fun haikus – and no, they’re not easy. They’re much harder than you’d think. Hehe.

    • http://www.funnylifestories.com GK Adams

      I don’t know where Terrye is. She needs to get her butt over here and submit a haiku or four.

  • Deb

    Love the Haiku’s which I can’t write but I did write you this poem:
    You are funny
    You are wacky
    I like you better
    than my chewin’ tobaccy

    • http://www.funnylifestories.com GK Adams

      LOL! Not bad, Deb, not bad at all!

  • Peyton Price

    I think the neighbor

    is a redneck in disguise.

    He drinks beer from cans!

    • http://www.funnylifestories.com GK Adams

      Nicely done!

  • http://www.facebook.com/TToombs08 Terrye Toombs

    I gave up haiku for lent. ;) I did some epic haiku with a space theme a couple of months ago and the doctor said I pulled something so I had to retire. :)

    • http://www.funnylifestories.com GK Adams

      Party pooper!

    • GKAdams

      Psssshhhh. Excuses, excuses.

  • Phil Holtberg

    The first one just made me spit out my coffee! LOL!

    • GKAdams

      Those were not easy to write. Glad one of them was worthy of coffee spittle.

  • Stacy Harris

    I Fell in Love Once
    Wit dis Real Purdy Woman
    She had just one tooth

    • GKAdams

      LMAO! Fantastic, Stacy!

      • Stacy Harris

        I just couldn’t resist!

  • http://www.facebook.com/TToombs08 Terrye Toombs

    OK! I’m bowing to the pressure!!! Here’s my Redneck Haiku:

    Hot summer days, cold beer
    Jacked up trucks and big mud holes
    Makes a country girl horny

  • Susan Zutautas

    What’s on the menu
    Roadkill gizzards and turtle
    Eat up boy enjoy